Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Death of A Good Friend.
The Obituary of Mr. Common Sense
Today this baby boomer is mourning the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies - don't spend more than you can earn; and reliable strategies - Adults, not Children, are in charge.
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place; reports of a 6 -year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate. Teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent a band-aid or an aspirin to a student.
Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by His parents, Truth and Trust; His wife,
Discretion; His daughter, Responsibility; and His son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
****************************************************************
Note: another version
Obituary for
Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain,
why the early bird gets the worm,
and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn)and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate,teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch,and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit on her lap,and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still know him pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
- Author Unknown
Today this baby boomer is mourning the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies - don't spend more than you can earn; and reliable strategies - Adults, not Children, are in charge.
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place; reports of a 6 -year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate. Teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent a band-aid or an aspirin to a student.
Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by His parents, Truth and Trust; His wife,
Discretion; His daughter, Responsibility; and His son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
****************************************************************
Note: another version
Obituary for
Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain,
why the early bird gets the worm,
and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn)and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate,teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch,and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit on her lap,and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still know him pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
- Author Unknown
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Call Me When It's Safe To Come Home.
Being that my kids' last day of school for the year was yesterday, I thought this email that was forwarded to me was very appropriate and that many of you would be able to somewhat relate...
Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the Report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the Report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)