Saturday, April 11, 2009

Stimulus Cash for Bill Gates?

Glenn Beck: Stimulus cash for...Bill Gates?

April 7, 2009 - 12:08 ET

GLENN: Okay, sure. You know, there's been the occasional destination of stimulus funding that seems a tad frivolous. Occasionally once in a while there's like, what are they doing for the zoo? But it's not like the government is just handing money out to anybody. I mean, it's not like they're building bridges for the richest man around or anything. Okay, they are, but it's an isolated it's only one. There's only up with richest guy around, the richest guy in the world. That's it, just one, and that's the only one they are building the bridge for. It's one little bridge. So you got a problem? Okay, so they made a mistake, one. You people, why do you hate him so much?

In Washington millions of your stimulus dollars are going to pay for a bridge to adjoin two campuses at Microsoft. You know, the company, owned by the richest guy in the world. You know, that one, yeah. The bridge would employ about 400 people for 18 whole months. Why 18 months? Well, when they're done, they just have to build another bridge right next to it so that way they can tear down the first one and then keep alternating it forever. I mean, only 18 months. Let's keep this gravy train going. It will eternally employ 400 people if we do it that way, give Microsoft employees a safe way to get to work, you know, from work. And then when they're leaving work, they can also go to work using this bridge. It's fantastic. Quote: Let's face it. Microsoft is one of the most lucrative companies in the country, says Taxpayers for Common Sense. Sure, they could have easily funded this out of pocket change but this is really about getting while the getting is good. Uncle Sam has a big wallet that's there for the taking, and Microsoft was happy to let them pick up part of the tab. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they could have had Microsoft pay for their own bridge, but what if they didn't? What would happen to all of that elevated walking in between the two campuses, you know. Don't we have an obesity problem in this country? I just saw on television that the majority of 4 year olds are obese. Isn't there a government program for something like that? I'm just wondering. I mean, why should we stop at the one bridge for the rich guy, you know? Let me tell you something. Our bathroom here at the Mercury studios is not all that nice. I don't have, like, towel warmers or any of those. Those are sweet. Don't have them. We could use an upgrade. Where's my stimulus? I mean, we also, you know, we have right behind Stu in the studio here, we have one of those little minifridges we keep nice cold Zero in it. It's fantastic. But how come I mean, don't I deserve a big standup, you know, Viking refrigerator? Wouldn't that be sweet, huh? I mean, I'm not asking for a bridge. Just a Viking refrigerator. Oh, and I'd like a water slide down to my car instead of the boring elevator. Where's my stimulus?

By the way, the project is going to cost you $25 million. Well, that's what they originally said but they figured out some ways to spend some more. It skyrocketed now to $36 million. What's $11 million these days! It's nothing! I mean, oh, I'm sure that $11 million is completely necessary, you know? It has to be. Somebody has got to pay for, you know, fixing all the bugs in Vista. You know, somebody's got to pay for that. I mean, who's going to do it besides the richest man in the world, if he's busy using the richest man in the world's bank account to build his own bridges! It doesn't make any sense! Concentrate on fixing the bugs in Vista. We'll do everything else for you.

VOICE: That was even more overwhelming evidence that we are destined to be a bunch of socialist pigs very, very soon on the Glenn Beck program.

GLENN: I'm just going to because Stu just told me that... there it is. The picture of the day. That's the bridge? Wow.

STU: Yeah. By the way, Glenn, Microsoft is kicking some of the money in. It's only costing us $11 million out of the $36 million which I know, that's it.

GLENN: Oh, no. Oh, no, it's only costing us 11. I thought it was

STU: Yeah, they are paying for some of their own bridge. They are paying

GLENN: Are they really?

STU: You want to talk about generosity, they have that Bill Gates has that whole charity setup where he's giving away money. Like this is the sort of charity we're talking about. He's paying for a portion of his own bridge to bridge the gap between two campuses of his own company. And I think that's

GLENN: All they have to really do is if they want to go to the other campus, they just get on the freeway there and then drive an exit and then turn around and then come to the next one.

STU: Well, they did quote this is ridiculous, this is a ridiculous spin because they did quote one guy who rides a bike and he did say that it's going to save him a couple of miles on the bike because he would have to go out of the way to get to the other.

GLENN: Has Microsoft thought about when Gates needs to go from one side of the freeway to the other? There's two options here as I see it, two options. He is the richest man in the world. He can just get on a helicopter and fly to the next.

STU: How long, how many trips do you have to make to equal out the bridge?

GLENN: Here's the other option. I'm just saying, okay, I'm just pulling this one out of the sky, but I'm just trying to think of somebody like, I don't know, if I were running the company. I would have said in the first place I don't want to go down ancient history. But the first thing is richest guy in the world, one of the smartest guys in the world. Somebody should have said, "Hey, Bill, why don't we build on the same side of the freeway."

STU: Wow..

GLENN: I know, it's crazy, crazy.

STU: Who would have thought of that in advance, though. This is hindsight.

GLENN: Oh, I know, it's hindsight. There was a freeway running between it and they're like, let's build on that side.

STU: It appears to be, I would say eight lanes and a train.

GLENN: Yeah.

STU: In between. So it wasn't like a small one.

GLENN: So it would have been good to say, but maybe they were working on the Wonkavator, I'm not sure, something that shoots out of that glass thing or

STU: Or if they had heavy lifting tricks.

GLENN: I don't know. They're geniuses over there. I don't know why they decided, "Let's build the rest of the building on the other side of the freeway." I don't know.

The other thing that I would do now, that's ancient history, and I don't know what was going on, what they were thinking. The other thing that I would do is maybe we should move to a new location.

STU: But they have all these fancy buildings where they are coming up with fizzy drinks and everlasting Gobstoppers and all that.

GLENN: Sometimes you say we've outgrown this space, and it's really inconvenient because my other office is across eight lanes of freeway and a train. Bad planning. Oops, my bad. Maybe we should build a new building or maybe we should find an existing building and renovate it. Maybe we could move downtown, you know, where those what do they call those, oh, those new oh, yeah. High rises. That way there's no freeway in between floors. I don't know if they know that. That's crazy.

STU: Glenn, again I'm not a guy who runs a company.

GLENN: I know. You're just a thinker.

STU: I'm just a guy living my life.

GLENN: Let's let the common man in here. Let's let him air things out a little bit.

STU: But let's say, you are an employee at Microsoft campus.

GLENN: At Microsoft, that's the one on this side of the highway.

STU: Right.

GLENN: Then there's eight lanes of highway in between and a train.

STU: And you're at Microsoft campus B.

GLENN: Who is?

STU: You needed to meet with someone at Microsoft campus B.

GLENN: I don't know how to do that.

STU: How would you do that?

GLENN: I don't know.

STU: Someone at Microsoft could potentially invoke the power of the Internet.

GLENN: No, that's crazy.

STU: I'm saying

GLENN: What?

STU: I'm saying that they

GLENN: What, you are going to get on and you are going to do like MS DOS and stuff and you are going to be like, Y equals what are you going to do? It's not like you can have moving pictures, not like you can have a teleconference.

STU: No, what I'm saying is I think you could do that. You could see like a camera could take a picture of you.

GLENN: No. They need the bridge.

STU: What I'm saying is that Microsoft people should go to

GLENN: The only option here, Stu, is for government money to build a bridge between these two campuses and you can see that bridge now on the it's beautiful, especially this time of year, beautiful. You should be very proud. They may put I was going to say you could pretend they are going to put your name on it because you're paying for it, but they will just put Microsoft up there.

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