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Sunday, April 5, 2009

His Will Be Done.

I am a child of God. I know that He loves me. Although I may have trials that at times seem hard to bear, I know that I will not be given trials that I cannot handle.

I think when people see the way that I am always "just myself" and never put on a front or have a hidden agenda they wonder. Those who know me well know that life is not always easy to me, but that I have a firm faith in the plan, in the reason(s) we are here having this human experience on earth.

While I was ill with late-stage Lyme disease, I was constantly working on doing my best in whatever situation I found myself. During the hardest 8 years of the disease (before the doctors found that Lyme was actually what it had been all of those sick years) I found myself suffering symptoms of a multitude of diseases that Lyme tends to mimic. There were times of depression, mania, miscarriage, inability to get pregnant, loss of memory, loss of speech, extreme tremor, inability to walk, seizure, and so forth. Through all of it I would joke about things and that humor always got me and my family through those hard times.

I took control over what I could...me, myself, and I. I studied the gospel, the Book of Mormon. I studied any and all national and global history material I could get my hands on. I learned wherever I could about whatever I could...especially since I could not go out and "do". I prayed. And I never took my support system, my family, for granted. I never took for granted that my Heavenly Father is watching over me and giving me comfort through every experience. I will never take for granted the learning that has taken place through these experiences.

It has been about 1 1/2 years since my diagnoses. I was treated aggressively when they found I had Lyme disease. I still have an immune system that gives in often to little illnesses. I still have a low stamina in general. However, I am amazed because I was given a second chance at life. My talents...my God given talents are available for me to learn, to improve, and to share with others. I love people and know that my time (however long or short) here on earth is going to fly by. I don't want to take this second chance at life for granted. That is why I am "just myself". I have to live with the decisions I make.

Someday I will speak with my Savior again. Hence, I always ask myself if I am acting in such a way with my fellow men that I will be able to humbly speak with my Savior and He will know that I did His will, my best, in this earthly experience. With that knowledge, I attempt Christlike behavior in all of my dealings with my fellowmen.

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;

18. And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.

19. And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea more.

20. Wherefore, do the things which I have commanded you, saith your Redeemer, even the Son Ahman, who prepareth all things before he taketh you;

21. For ye are the church of the Firstborn, and he will take you up in a cloud, and appoint every man his portion.

22. And he that is a faithful and wise steward shall inherit all things. Amen." -- Doctrine & Covenants 78:17-22

1 comment:

Brent said...

Natasha, beautiful thoughts. Thanks for sharing and letting us into your life.

Brent